having a real good day.

Ah MAN! Scheise! I tried today, I really did. It's all shit today. Shittty shit.
Some days, it's just really shit. And then I went to get the mail in the parking lot and the elevator wouldn't come back down and I was ready to kill anyone who looked at me wrong. I walked to the other end and took the other elevator and then went to see what the deal was. Some asshole pushed the button for every floor then got off. My PMS has been so mild this week that I almost didn't know I had it until I yelled through the wall Saturday for someone to turn down the fucking tv, at 1 am. And today, when I was ready to fist fight anyone pushing buttons superfluously on the elevator.

What I drew today was just not what I was trying to draw and I spent ages on it even though I knew it wasn't working. Lesson learned. I'm only just now starting to understand what my life needs to be about to get done what I want to get done but I'm so impatient. Now that I know, why can't it happen right away? I know why. I know I have to work. I will. It's hard. Hard when it doesn't go right. Hard when it's bubbling inside, but you just can't put your damn finger on it and get it down on the page. Hard when you have to admit defeat and go take a bath and regroup for trying again.

And fuck you Facebook. You suck. You will destroy proper communication. You are making life a high school for millions. Millions who are NOT in high school anymore. Even back in high school, did we talk only to ourselves into our little locker mirrors and hope that others were watching us as we did so, and was everyone else so busy talking into their own little mirrors and hoping the same, so that in the end, no one cared about anyone but themselves???? No, but Facebook is making it so. I wash my hands of thee.

Whatever, right?

It's warm as hell here today. Almost t-shirt warm. A gal should go for walk in that shit. Maybe I shall. Maybe I shall.

PS: I took a bath and made myself do another drawing. Both shitty and post-shitty results below.


The drawings on top of the page, were the unsucessful drawings that made me give up and try the one below it. I'm going to give the below one some more attention. I think pushing through paid off more than if I had just given up. Head up your ass much Monsterteeth?