It's me, it's you, it's everyone.

"Hustle!"

I've been edited.

There is an outage on this site in 8 minutes. Must type fast. Couldn't possibly wait to do it a bit later even though I've been putting it off for days. No blog, no drawings-sue me.

I'm PMSing and I just don't care!! I was even glad to have the maids come today. It freaked me out 2 weeks ago and made me feel guilty but today I feel like: Glad I'm not doing it. Fuck vacuuming.

So today is sunny and I went downtown and there was very little there other than bars. Lotta bars. And homeless people. Still was sort of amusing anyway. Briefly.

More importantly, someone let me borrow their Mac Powerbook. What a nice, nice person. I am happy.

T was trying to convince me to get a laptop a while back, but every time I looked at one in my price range, it was a stinky PC and I just couldn't put down the money for it when I knew what I wanted was a MAC. I dreamed that somehow I'd be able to magically get one. Tadaa!! Even if only temporarily.

A Clabber girl's got skillz.

I woke up last night, in the middle of a dream, choking. I even made the international sign for choking, grabbing at my neck with both hands. I was dreaming that I was trying to cross the street and suddenly, a disaster occured in the metro which caused some kind of unknown crud to go flying through the air. It was just as if I was standing in front of a 20 foot lawnmower breathing in all the grass that it expelled. There was no air, only this orange grass stuff jetting everywhere. I couldn't breathe at all and I woke gasping for at least 10 seconds before I could get a breath in. Then I coughed crud for 15 minutes without rest. I felt like someone beat the shit out me afterward. T slept through the whole thing. Ha. What good is making the international sign for choking if no one is watching you do it??

Is there an international sign for "OH my god, that is a friggin awesome spicy tuna roll!"? San Jose has a Japantown, we discovered yesterday. I thought this city was a lost cause, but at least it's got that. Japantown is a small, calm, low building, wide-street, part of town, with a bunch of restaurants and a great Japanese market containing many mysterious items. Some less so. I am enjoying my not at all mysterious miso and seaweed in this great soup I am consuming as we speak.(T's alarm bells will be going off as he pictures miso soup frying his laptop. Don't worry, I am using sheer will to keep from spilling soup on your computer T. It hasn't stopped me from spilling it on myself but....)

Saturday we went to the Aquarium in Monterey, as you've probably seen. That place also kicked bum. I hell of dug that place. Why can't I breathe under water????? Looks sooo relaxing. Unless you are being stung by jellyfish or stingrays or chomped by sharks etc...apart from that though...It was stinky good-like my soup. If there is ever some kind of global catastrophe and we all go mental, my insanity will manifest as me pretending I am an ocean dweller. I will head to the nearest coast and hang out on the shore with flippers on, eating seaweed and burying myself in rocks to keep warm at night. I have it all planned out.


I so should have bought this gum.


Damn fine meal.


I'm trying to decide what qualities a Clabber Girl has.


Deliciously packaged, frozen mysteries.

I call this: The unwanted noogie.

Yes, that is beet juice.

Time has come to paint with beets.

She did show up. I shared the snacks after all. It was okay. Another scientist! Back in Montreal, 3 out of the 6 of us are scientists. Science and knitting. Who knew it was such a firm partnership? Did you know? DID YOU??

It wasn't as fun as my Montreal group. I miss youse gals, sniff, sniff.

It raineth and raineth. I am in the cavern of our apartment, waiting for the henna to redden my hair (and probably ears, forehead and neck as well), wondering what I can paint with beet juice and what I can cook with beets...just now as I was about to type a sentence, my hand spasmed and I typed out "BS" in capital letters. Is my hand trying to tell me something? Is it?? "Ya.I'm your hand and I am trying to tell you something. BS is what I'm trying to tell you. Not clear enough?? BS. You are full of it."

Thanks alot hand. That same hand hauled out and punched the headboard last night while I was trying to pull the sheet in place. Wasn't that the premise of a Michael Caine Movie? His hand thought he was full of shit and kept trying to punch things?

I'm asking you many questions, reader. For you are wise. Wise beyond your ears.

Just checked it out and yes indeed it was a movie, appropriately entitled The Hand. Directed by Oliver Stone- weird. I guess it goes to show that even the giants of art can start off by sucking. Actually, the only reason I knew this was a film was thanks to SCTV. They did a parody called: My Bloody Hand and Dave Thomas played Michael Caine. I often think of the SCTV version of celebrities before the celebrities themselves: Eugene Levy as Ernest Borgnine. Rick Moranis as Michael McDonald, Catherine O'Hara as Katherine Hepburn and so on...

Speaking of Dave Thomas, something got me thinking about all those great AM radio songs I listened to as a kid, sometimes taping off the radio, from the mono speaker of my cube alarm clock, into my white tape recorder. I thought of Dave's brother Ian Thomas. I know he had a few great hits, but I couldn't for the life of me remember any. I walked around all day going mental. Then, hours later, while fluffing a pillow, it came to me: Rudolph Valentino, put up in my limousine, oh won't you come in outta the rain.....Yes! It's been in my head ever since. Still can't think of the others though. Little help??

Alright, time to paint with beets.

More snacks for me.

It's cold. Cold and rainy. So there. I don't mind really. It's springy and fresh. It was spritzing this morning, like a mist of seltzer. The clouds looked like cream cheese on bagels. Seltzer, bagels, they sort of go together don't they?

Someone is meant to come over and knit with me today. I put an ad on Craigslist. I have this feeling she won't show up. It would seem that people in Silicon Valley are less than lackluster about the idea of crafts. No time for knitting when you've got hubcaps to shine and programs to program and Mexicans to order around. There, I said it. Gawd it's like somehow Mexican people are considered to be some sort of worker bee breed. Got something cruddy to do? Hire a Mexican. It's creepy and warped. I really don't see that in Canada. A race of people for menial jobs. No one seems to even question it. I don't get it.

Anyway, if she doesn't show up I don't mind. I'm happy to have the snacks I laid out all to myself. I'm starting to get the hang of it here. I know where the mailbox is, I've stopped getting hives everytime I see a pen and paper, I figured out how to sleep better on the big wierd bed we have and I've started looking forward to going to the gym everyday. Yay for me right? Don't picture knives going into my head. Simple things are difficult when I get my hands on them.

I think I'm allergic to California.

Er, if something new happens other than me blowing my nose 4000 times a day or getting lost for the 5 millionth time while trying to get the mail, I'll let you know!

I'm way better looking in ink.

Humour me

So it's my personal challenge to post a drawing a day no matter how crappy and maybe they will get better. I'm taking weekends off. Somehow I figure it will hold me accoutable to do it this way... I'm in kindergarten again, starting all over. Swallowing pride, I begin at the begin...ning. Sigh.

Swans and Frogs

Finally I felt well enough to haul me arse out of doors today. There's a cool breeze but the sun feels like someone hugging you in a towel that just came out of the dryer. Lovely weather, I think is the way to say it. I walked aimlessly since I can't really walk any other way, due to my piss poor sense of direction. It does all sort of look the same around here though. Trees, and big shiny buildings and silver luxury cars.

I saw what I beleive to be a swan in the field in front of the orange orchard beside our complex. It looked as aimless and confused as I did. Hope it figures out where it's going.

Also, I found my favourite spot to sit inside the complex. A big blue pond with frogs spitting water. Why not? I wonder if each little part of this place has it's own "thing", like a frog fountain in one spot or marble turkeys in another. Really, I could spend a few days just walking around all the different complexes in this cluster and seeing what they've all got in their corridors and courtyards.

I was highly tempted by the pool until closer inspection. The water was warm and inviting feeling but the bottom looked dirty. Pooh.

I was thinking maybe I should stick one drawing per day up on this here blog, just for the hell of it. I figure if I at least start there....well it's a start, there.
Since I have no scanner I'll have to take pictures of them. Humour me.

Toodles, noodles.

Creepy and rad.

I had the bizarre experience of people coming in and cleaning my home while I sat on my ass and did nothing. I was too sick to leave and let them do it in peace. Holy crack was that ever not cool feeling. They did my dishes! I didn't know they had to do my dishes. I figured they'd just dust a bit, vacuum and clean the bathroom but they did my dishes and rearranged everything on the bathroom counter top and I just sat there watching a Chinese movie. I thought it would be nice to have someone clean up for me but it's creepy.

I see a bit of sun out there. It looks windy. I am huddled under a blanket nursing my sore head. Today's big adventure will be having a very hot bath and making some biscuits. Live vicariously through me! The excitement is endless!!

"So what'd you do out there in Cali?"
"Had some baths, made some biscuits, slayed mythical creatures and invented a time machine powered on yarn and static electricity!!"
"Rad."

Bleeeurgh

I'm sick. Nothing I say or write today makes any sense. Can stuffed sinuses make you insane? What can I tell you anyway??? I'm jobless in California! I like the dishwasher okay??? I like it. SUVs are everywhere and capitalism is killing me softly with his song and inequality of the classes and so on....

Truly, I feel like it must be annoying to hear about the whole thing anyway. "Ooh, look at me, I am either a jerk for being here and having a good time when I didn't do a damn thing to deserve it, or I am a jerk for being here and wrecking a great opportunity to have a few months of fun by being too guilty and neurotic to let it happen."

How about this option Monsterteeth? Why don't you chill the fuck out and be a normal human for a couple of months and not overthink every damn thing and just eat some vegetarian burritos and buy some shoes and take some pictures of the Golden Gate bridge ya FREAK!

Point taken, maybe I will try that out, after my sinuses stop trying to leap out of my skull. Meantime, I will continue using the dishwasher and giving myself pep talks to counter balance the catholic and/or germanic guilt. Sound like a plan?? Ohh yeaahhh!